Maybe I'll get drunk again

If someone was to ask me, when would be ur lowest point in your uni life? My answer would be 3 weeks before the final exams. I find that it's during this time that I start losing all motivation to study and losing all that strength in me to push on.

The past few weeks, it's been a midsem test EACH week. And that consist of 6 weeks in total of midsems (2 of the units divide their midsems into 2 tests). After that's done, I still have 1 more test and 3 weeks into the finals. Problem is, after that full on 6 weeks of study, now I just lost all my drive (which is a big stress since I should technically start studying for the finals).

Even WORSE, 4 of our exams are in the first week. On one Friday, we have the hardest exam of them all in the morning, followed by ~6 hours gap, and then another exam in the evening. ZZzzzz.............

So anyways, it would be a really boring post if I was to explain the lil minute details of my exams.


I've just recently found out that my good primary school friend has a blog. She does Medicine in Indo and it was really encouraging to read a blog by someone who knows exactly what it's like to study something reallyyyyyyyyy "medical", nerdy and again nerdy (i.e. hours and hours and hours of study, hard work, and a lot of sacrifices on the social side)..... It really does take a lot of might and strength to push through. It's also especially hard to share about my uni troubles to people who are not really in the same shoes, cos it will probably bore them or might make them think I'm showing off or whatever (a lot of people kindly listen and encourage me though). It' always good to find someone who 'knows what it's like" (as previously experienced by me during my worst eczema ridden days). So anyway, I'll def be in the lookout for new posts on her blog for inspiration :) In case you wanna check it out:http://lifeinartandmed.tumblr.com/


The lesson I'd like to share with you today would be:
If you have problems (especially long term or really tough one), find someone who's been there before. The same goes if it's the other way around.  If you have been there before, share it with someone who's currently having the same prob as you. It really does make a diff! 


For now, I'll leave you to my current fave song. Hope your days have been good! :)

Scirbbly thoughts

Hello readers (if there are any xD),

I welcome u all again to another Grumble rumble ramble post about my life.. i know it's boring and probably meaningless to you all *sighpies*.. But what can I say, I need a platform to drain all these hazy, scribbly thoughts from my head.. So ya'll can become the platform :D teehee.

Scribbly thought no 1) Studying pharmacy

I've talked about this before.. And as the months go by, it doesn't get any better :( Pharmacy just keep on getting harder and harder for me. I often think that I'm SO not smart enough to do this course.. But since I've started it for 2 years already, might as well finish it off.. It's not like I don't like the units or the profession, it's just the workload is wayyy too much. I'm only doing 3 units now (unlike other pharmacy studentswho are doing 5), but it's actually a lot of work already. Let me give you an idea.........during the midsem exams, I still had uni. So between studying for the exams, I also had to prepare and go to 3 hour lab and a 2 hours tute and another 1 hour tute. I pretty much skipped all the lectures irrelevant to the upcoming midsem. (Which I now regret coz I now have to catch up for them >.<). And these leave me so tired and just got enough energy to study. And this leads to thought no 2.

Scribbly thought no 2) Neglecting housework

As a result of  spending all my energy on uni stuff, I pretty much have limited time and energy doing housework. And that really sucks because in my house, the only people who clean are me, dad, and my bro. My mum cooks and do other stuffs. But, my dad works quite a lot so he gets pretty tired. And my bro, hm let me just say that he procrastinates a lot more than he does housework -.-. Sometimes I envy him coz his life is like one big holiday. Well, I guess his job require him to do more physical work (Chef) so maybe he gets tired when he gets home.. But still!! at least he doesn't have homeworks or tests coming up??? So anyways, neglecting housework makes me feel guilty, but I really CANNOT fail any units AGAIN. So everytime there are tests coming up, I totally focus on them. After all, if I screw this up, it will be another delay to graduation, which means I'll need to rely on my parents financially even longer (which I don't really want to do because I know they're getting older...). And I just feel that I'm rushed to graduate ASAP since I'm the last kid in the family, and I think my parents has had enough of supporting us LOL. So yah :( And my mum is like me, we both get really stressed pretty fast.. And so, when she gets stressed, it gets me stressed, and it makes me want to graduate and earn money asap to stop her from stressing... I'm so scared she gets like really high blood pressure.. And my dad, well he's work a lot for all of us, so I think it's time for us to pay back.

Scribbly thought no 3) Disease

Hm.. I don't know if you can call this disease/condition, but anyway... I've just recently found out  that I have this "condition". I haven't told ppl and only my sister and my bf knows about it..But it gets worse when I'm stressed/studying... So, when I'm stressed/studying, I exacerbate this condition, and therefore I get even more stressed because of it.. Does that make sense? lol. And no, it's not eczema. My eczema is under control now except just on the back of my neck, but it's okay, I can live with that.

Scribbly thought no 4) The desire to learn more about the Bible

Since I attended some bible studies at uni (with this group called IBF: International Bible Fellowship), I've learnt so much about the bible! And it's very interesting, because sometimes as Christians, we don't actually read the bible that much. Which is pretty silly coz it is like the "life guide" of every Christian. And after learning more about it, I was able to explain it to people who ask me, and most importantly, I really learned more about the God I believe in, and purpose of my life in this world. However, uni and church commitments actually prevent me from learning more. Ironic isn't it? Because the time I spend in studying, going to uni, time spent preparing for church volunteering work, just really test my time management skills to the max. But thing is, even with time management, it's still so hard to fit all of them together, because after all, I have limited energy in me. Which is so crappppppp.. I wish I have more energy and more than 24 hours in a day! But oh well... So anyway, the point is, I often miss the bible study sessions (which is held on Friday 4-6pm and Sunday 3-5pm). Because by 4pm, I'd be too tired from uni and on Sunday I got no transport to go there since I don't drive... I should learn how to drive aye..

Scribbly thought summary

So all these pretty much stress me everyday.. But writing it here I guess kinda relieve the stress cos now that I got it typed down, I can see that it's actually only a total of 4 scribbly thoughts! (in my mind it feels like there are so many!) And I'm actually thinking of talking to the counselors at Curtin's health services (since it's free anyway :)  I know a  couple of my friends go there to get counselling cos of the stress from uni and life.. So might give it a try since they said it's pretty good... 

That's it! What's your scribbly thoughts? :)

study mood, hard to build, easy to break

I had a really bad day today... Been trying to study for this exam, but ended up only doing 1 lecture in the morning (didn't even finish that 1 lecture!)
Then at night.. I had the motivation to study, so I studied pretty well.. Suddenly something happened :S
And then I just couldn't study. AT ALL -.-

Ended up scribbling this picture on a piece of scrap paper..
The picture depicts a real story (except the palm which is non-existent near where shaki usually sits).
When I leave Shaki's food outside, he doesn't eat it unless I sit right next to him and wait until he finish it. So, in the end, he just stares at the door, waiting for ppl to open door for him... Letting the ants eat his food -.- The ants must love him so much, and they're probably having a feast down there in their underground headquarter...

Shaki and the Ants

I hope it's been a productive day for you all! (Just like the ants who worked very hard to carry all those food, and now they can have the all-you-can-eat buffet of Shaki's food for supper) :)

utter shock.

I cannot believe this is happening. Well here was the plan... Our whole family (for the first time) will be going back to Indonesia for 2 weeks to celebrate my parents wedding anniversary and my grandma's 92nd birthday. We would go to Bali, Bandung, Jakarta.. It would be the epic family holiday since the Eurotrip 2 years ago!


However, this morning my dad told me that mum got an email saying that Yvonne my sister is accepted in Dentistry in University of Melbourne. What does this mean? Well let me say that my mum have ALWAYS had a dream that Yvonne would be a doctor one day. She would push my sister to do UMAT, GAMSAT, go to Sydney to do Medical Science, etc etc. And even after my sister already finished Med Science, my mum is never backing down on not pushing her daughter to become a doctor. So this offer means A LOT for our family. This is because my mum is pretty much the main decision maker of the family. And she is also known to be the "maker of sudden changes" woman. And so, my sister is going to Melbourne first thing this Monday with my mum because the uni starts already on that day. Crazy? hah... I'm pretty much shocked.. Cos number one, the Indo holiday would not be the whole family, number two, my sister is moving to Melbourne for 4 years starting next week.. :S


What does this mean for the church? Well, my sister is the leader of our Youth Camp this year which will be held in March. We've nearly finished all the preparations of the camp. And all of a sudden, we would need to find a new leader. Secondly, she is a sunday school teacher.. So the Sunday School would lose 1 scarce resource. Number three: I cannot imagine her living apart from her boyfriend for another 4 years after 3 years of separation when she was in Sydney.


So yeah. :S This is shocking. Great cos finally my mum reach her dreams. Sad cos.. well... it's sad for me...... :'( *teary*

Goodbye again to Shaki's Big Momma..

:( :( :(

sometimes I wonder

if i'm meant to do this course




: '{

:(

Why is shopping so addictive?

I hate to say it, but I love shopping.
Thing is, I don't like to spend money for the vain and not really necessary shopping. I'd rather save it for more necessary stuff such as saving up for a car, a house, etc, etc. And if there are any abundances left, it would be better off given to people who really need it to stay alive, rather than shopping for more clothes .

Sigh.

Also, my wardrobe is so full already! But I love shopping for new stuff!! T_T Especially after I've gone through blogs or fashion magazines, or saw something that someone wears or have which I like. Booh..

Help!

On another note, I'm probably not gonna write any meaningful stuff for the next couple of days xD
Haven't been in the mood. Been pretty dodgy mood these days. It's because I haven't studied AT ALL during the week break. And I'm pretty behind. Also, work keeps calling me beacause they need people. I guess it's good because I got a pay rise which means I can spend more! ^^ (NO! I hope I don't spend more on unnecessary stuff)

Sigh

Sigh.. how I hate when my laziness kick in and mum starts to nag T.T

The :( of studying pharmacy

Becoming a pharmacist. It seems like a good idea! I get to help people, the job is not that tiring, all you need to lift are medicine boxes and popping the pills xD. The pay is okay. You learn heaps about health conditions and how to manage them (can be handy for yourself or ur family):D. And it seems like a relaxing job.

However, with these comes a great responsibility. Basically you're in charge of the medications you give out to people. If you made a mistake, best case scenario is that you get complained at, worst case scenario is that you may cause other people harm or even worse, it might kill them.

As I progress through the course, I get why they make it so hard. We might not necessarily use ALL the stuff that we learn in the course when working as, for example, a community pharmacist. However, the load of work you get in the course would teach you to commit a lot of things into memory, train you to think fast and accurately perform tasks.

Even though I'm quite appreciative of all that, I'm kinda struggling studying pharmacy here :S I failed a unit in first year.. Miraculously pass all my other units after that.. But I'm still struggling and working my ass off to pass all my units!
I haven't even mention the amount of social time I've cut off from my life T.T

The stuff are hard.. At least they're quite interesting. But then ~90% is about memorising stuff, which means that I have to regularly study them so that it sticks in my mind. The thing is, it's kinda hard to study.
I wonder how a lot of people, especially other pharmacy students can do it. They can just spend a full 5 hours or more of study, productively! Whereas me, only sometimes I can do that. Usually it'd be like 1 hour productive study, and then 4 hours break, 3 hours half study half daydreaming, and so on..

1 hour. productive. study.

Sigh..

Sometimes I wish I could study better.......

Anyway, GO STUDY MONICA!!

PS: the totoro sandwich is so cute!

the blues are colouring my world now :(

Here comes a loooongggg complicatedd random thought of the day sighhh:

So, the exams week is coming up.
I had one exam this morning (which i think i screwed up over), a mock practical exam tomorrow morning and another calculation exam on friday. And the real final exams are just a mere 2 weeks away.
That's ok right.. but the problem is, I'm in one of those moments when I just can't do anything.
I literally don't have any motivation to move my ass off and do something productive.
Like, I've been sitting here for the past 2 hours, doing nothing but msn and like random fbing, listening to music and just absolutely nothing productive. lol.
I guess this is allrite if you're up to date with everything like ilectures etc etc.. But i am sooo far away from being updated.
And procrastination in general suxxx :X hahah.. coz the one thing that I hate the most is wasting the precious limited 24 hours away, but sadly I never get away from it.. LOL aghh..

Adding to the rapidly approaching exam and procrastinating mood problems, I also have some crazily ridiculous family problems, that shouldn't have happened in the first place but it happened anyway. And this is the last thing you want during exams week.. because during that time like the people u will probably meet most often is ur family. And you do need them coz they're like the people you should be able to fall back on when ure stressed out and one of the most, if not the most important foundation in ur life.

Oh well~~
just gotta pick myself up now.. and just get on with it..