A blog that made me XD today

Can't explain what it's like so check it out urself xD

The dullest blog in the world

its (Y)!

got it from widi's blog :)

The :( of studying pharmacy

Becoming a pharmacist. It seems like a good idea! I get to help people, the job is not that tiring, all you need to lift are medicine boxes and popping the pills xD. The pay is okay. You learn heaps about health conditions and how to manage them (can be handy for yourself or ur family):D. And it seems like a relaxing job.

However, with these comes a great responsibility. Basically you're in charge of the medications you give out to people. If you made a mistake, best case scenario is that you get complained at, worst case scenario is that you may cause other people harm or even worse, it might kill them.

As I progress through the course, I get why they make it so hard. We might not necessarily use ALL the stuff that we learn in the course when working as, for example, a community pharmacist. However, the load of work you get in the course would teach you to commit a lot of things into memory, train you to think fast and accurately perform tasks.

Even though I'm quite appreciative of all that, I'm kinda struggling studying pharmacy here :S I failed a unit in first year.. Miraculously pass all my other units after that.. But I'm still struggling and working my ass off to pass all my units!
I haven't even mention the amount of social time I've cut off from my life T.T

The stuff are hard.. At least they're quite interesting. But then ~90% is about memorising stuff, which means that I have to regularly study them so that it sticks in my mind. The thing is, it's kinda hard to study.
I wonder how a lot of people, especially other pharmacy students can do it. They can just spend a full 5 hours or more of study, productively! Whereas me, only sometimes I can do that. Usually it'd be like 1 hour productive study, and then 4 hours break, 3 hours half study half daydreaming, and so on..

1 hour. productive. study.

Sigh..

Sometimes I wish I could study better.......

Anyway, GO STUDY MONICA!!

PS: the totoro sandwich is so cute!

im back?

WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

so........... as the title said.. im back.... with a question mark.. haha..
rite now....... i dont tink i shud be writing a blog.. since im scared that i may reveallll sum probs that my friend is having... but another friend told me a few minutes ago.. to write again.. and i think i will, just to pour out all my thoughtsss so that i can be there for my friend.. and keep listening to everything that she has to say, by getting rid of my own thoughts for once and for all...

So before writing this post.. i had a quick flick through my own blog.. and i was reminded of "those days" when my eczema was really bad....
Im happy to say.. its better now :)
like much better.. than before.. i even forget i hav it sumtimes!! except during sum days when it wud come bak.. but now that i know how to treat it and take care of it.. it doesnt last long..and i feel normal again? xD But i do still remind myself from time to time about that feeling when i had it bad.. coz it just helps to keep myself grounded and to keep being humble.. coz u know what.. no matter how good u are.. nobodys perfectt and its good to keep that in mind.. so that u dont accidentally or intentionally step on other ppl just coz u think ure so good.

So anyway... these past few monthsss.. well probably the past 2 months i guess....
my friend had been caught in a reallyy reallyy deepp complicated problem.. i knew about it all along.. and hav always been positive minded and hopeful that it will get better with time..
but these past few days, its actually gotten worse, to the point that nothing i say, nothing i do can make my friend happy...
and that really made me sad.. and made me think about another friend.. who is in a hospital, treated for depression.
And to be honest, I dont want this friend of mine to go through that too. I dont tink she will, but i cant help getting scared of this happening.

and today........ after i got home from work... i got a message from her... and after thatt i just cried.. for like a few minutes... and i remember thingking to myself.. omg.. maybe im affectedd now.. and i told myselff.. thats itt i gotta get away.. so i went on msn.. talked to sum friends...

I talked to this one friend that i really trust.. And i really wanted to pour out all my thoughts.. just to get my head clearer.. becuz who can help a friend in need, when u urself is having problems rite?
So i did.. and i nearly said things that may reveal the problem to this friend that i trust... but i remembered not to say the actual problem becuz he doesnt know about it.. so i asked him:
D u know about the problem?
and then he goes: No, I dont. And dont tell me.

So, for sum reason.. probably me in my sensitive mode.. take that as him thingking that im a bad friend.. who just goes on blabbing about other ppls problems to random ppl.. And that really hurt me. So nvm about telling my feelings rite...
So i just went quiet for a while.. was planning to ignore him for everrr.. i deleted him off my favourites list. But then.. i told him,, "so u think im a bad friend huh??"
and he goes: No
but i was thingking in my mind.. "whatever man.. nvm.. u dont understand"
so i ignored him... and went off to talk to other ppl..

And then just at the right time.. another friend of mine.. talked to me.. and we both are having problems with uni enrollment... and she said: this suxx..
and i went: "yeah i know.. sighh.. and life is not that good atm.. and likee i SOHHH dont wanna think about these pharmacy units rite now.. >.< but i hav to..pooh!" and then she asked me: "why is life not good atm?" and then i told her.. "coz my friend is having probss and i dont know what to do.." and she gave me sum advice.. she told me to hang in there.. keep being there for her..even though what i say may not help at all.. but being there is good already.. and that really encouraged me.. like.. A LOT! i really thanked her for that.... becuz after pouring all my worries.. it just made me feel so much better and ready to go bak.. listening :) and thennn.. during all these time.. my friend.. the one i trust and the one that made me think im a bad friend,, and the one that hurt me for a second.. talked on msn.. he said: "back. and you now have my undivided attention" *but i was busy listening to my friend and writing my blog at the same time, and talking to several other people so i ignored him.. sorryyyyy ahahha.. " and then he goes: ok fine. don't use it. *and that just made me LAUGH ahahahahah... but i still ignored him.. sorryyyy againnnnn if ure reading thiss* and then after a while.. he nudged me.. i didnt realise coz i disable the thing.. but the next time i checked there were like 3 nudges.. and that made me smilee xD so, sorry for ignoring uu but u made me laugh.. xD ahahhahahaha and i will talk to u soon.. probably after writing this blog xD And then........ i told my friend thats having probs.. that im writing a blog now.. and i let her read everything that ive written so far.. its probably boring since its so long.. xD but i just hope that it helps to let her know how much i care.. and to reassure her, that all her friends do care and we're here for uuu... so even though we may not help.. just know that we're here for u kayy!!! :) And then.. theres another friend.. who wanted a special mention :P He's called DUMDUM and he likes to say Merry Christmas :p ahahaha... is that a good enuf mention? xD And yeah.. so in overall.. i dont know what to say anymore.. but defintely feeling better after writing this.. and i dont tink this post will help anyone.. xD but if it does then good :) if it doesnt... umm at least it helped me.. xD and as an ending note.. i guess..... if ure out there having probsss..... im sure that ure not alone.. ( this sounds like what i said in previous posts :S ) and even though u dont know the future, and even though the future can be pretty scary since we dont know..... just... stay positive.. know thatttt no matter how much shit is happenin in ur life.. know also that theres HEAPSSS MOREEE blesssings in ur life! :)
and there wud be those momentss when nothing can make u feel happyy but at least knowwww that u hav ur friends there...
its like this quote i copied off sumwhere:
"Friends are like stars, sumtimes u cant see them, but they're always there"

Hehe... :D



OH: and HOW CUTEEE IS THIS PICTUREE!!!! credits to Evermore Photography.. :)

!!!!

u kno what???
who cares about eczema and how it looks!!
imma do watever i want whenever i want however ways i choose to!
screw hiding and limiting myself just coz of how i look on the day! >:)

maybe it's not as bad as I think?

Hmm.. yeah...
Maybe it really wasn't as bad as I thought. lol.
I thought of it now coz everyone was really nice to me when I got back from work..
My dad talked to me about whats happenin in his life. which is like WOW coz he never usually do. Then when I got home Mum was reallyyy nice.. Like, I was so pissed at her for scolding me in the morning.. but tonite, it was completely diff..
So maybe, it was just one of those moments when things somehow didn't work in everyone's life.. But maybe it wasn't that bad.
Maybe it's just coz I was in a worried state of mind that everything seems so rank..

Maybe, maybe..

But you know what, if you have a seemingly huge ass problem atm, just step back a bit and look at it from a diff perspective.. I'm sure it's not as complicated and as big as u think it is. And remember, God will never give you anything you can't handle ;)

this song is awthum :)

a very materialistic, sad song but yeah.. i LOVE the beat :)

the blues are colouring my world now :(

Here comes a loooongggg complicatedd random thought of the day sighhh:

So, the exams week is coming up.
I had one exam this morning (which i think i screwed up over), a mock practical exam tomorrow morning and another calculation exam on friday. And the real final exams are just a mere 2 weeks away.
That's ok right.. but the problem is, I'm in one of those moments when I just can't do anything.
I literally don't have any motivation to move my ass off and do something productive.
Like, I've been sitting here for the past 2 hours, doing nothing but msn and like random fbing, listening to music and just absolutely nothing productive. lol.
I guess this is allrite if you're up to date with everything like ilectures etc etc.. But i am sooo far away from being updated.
And procrastination in general suxxx :X hahah.. coz the one thing that I hate the most is wasting the precious limited 24 hours away, but sadly I never get away from it.. LOL aghh..

Adding to the rapidly approaching exam and procrastinating mood problems, I also have some crazily ridiculous family problems, that shouldn't have happened in the first place but it happened anyway. And this is the last thing you want during exams week.. because during that time like the people u will probably meet most often is ur family. And you do need them coz they're like the people you should be able to fall back on when ure stressed out and one of the most, if not the most important foundation in ur life.

Oh well~~
just gotta pick myself up now.. and just get on with it..