Saturday, April 16, 2011

Scirbbly thoughts

Hello readers (if there are any xD),
I welcome u all again to another Grumble rumble ramble post about my life.. i know it's boring and probably meaningless to you all *sighpies*.. But what can I say, I need a platform to drain all these hazy, scribbly thoughts from my head.. So ya'll can become the platform :D teehee.

Scribbly thought no 1) Studying pharmacy
I've talked about this before.. And as the months go by, it doesn't get any better :( Pharmacy just keep on getting harder and harder for me. I often think that I'm SO not smart enough to do this course.. But since I've started it for 2 years already, might as well finish it off.. It's not like I don't like the units or the profession, it's just the workload is wayyy too much. I'm only doing 3 units now (unlike other pharmacy studentswho are doing 5), but it's actually a lot of work already. Let me give you an idea.........during the midsem exams, I still had uni. So between studying for the exams, I also had to prepare and go to 3 hour lab and a 2 hours tute and another 1 hour tute. I pretty much skipped all the lectures irrelevant to the upcoming midsem. (Which I now regret coz I now have to catch up for them >.<). And these leave me so tired and just got enough energy to study. And this leads to thought no 2.

Scribbly thought no 2) Neglecting housework
As a result of  spending all my energy on uni stuff, I pretty much have limited time and energy doing housework. And that really sucks because in my house, the only people who clean are me, dad, and my bro. My mum cooks and do other stuffs. But, my dad works quite a lot so he gets pretty tired. And my bro, hm let me just say that he procrastinates a lot more than he does housework -.-. Sometimes I envy him coz his life is like one big holiday. Well, I guess his job require him to do more physical work (Chef) so maybe he gets tired when he gets home.. But still!! at least he doesn't have homeworks or tests coming up??? So anyways, neglecting housework makes me feel guilty, but I really CANNOT fail any units AGAIN. So everytime there are tests coming up, I totally focus on them. After all, if I screw this up, it will be another delay to graduation, which means I'll need to rely on my parents financially even longer (which I don't really want to do because I know they're getting older...). And I just feel that I'm rushed to graduate ASAP since I'm the last kid in the family, and I think my parents has had enough of supporting us LOL. So yah :( And my mum is like me, we both get really stressed pretty fast.. And so, when she gets stressed, it gets me stressed, and it makes me want to graduate and earn money asap to stop her from stressing... I'm so scared she gets like really high blood pressure.. And my dad, well he's work a lot for all of us, so I think it's time for us to pay back.

Scribbly thought no 3) Disease
Hm.. I don't know if you can call this disease/condition, but anyway... I've just recently found out  that I have this "condition". I haven't told ppl and only my sister and my bf knows about it..But it gets worse when I'm stressed/studying... So, when I'm stressed/studying, I exacerbate this condition, and therefore I get even more stressed because of it.. Does that make sense? lol. And no, it's not eczema. My eczema is under control now except just on the back of my neck, but it's okay, I can live with that.

Scribbly thought no 4) The desire to learn more about the Bible
Since I attended some bible studies at uni (with this group called IBF: International Bible Fellowship), I've learnt so much about the bible! And it's very interesting, because sometimes as Christians, we don't actually read the bible that much. Which is pretty silly coz it is like the "life guide" of every Christian. And after learning more about it, I was able to explain it to people who ask me, and most importantly, I really learned more about the God I believe in, and purpose of my life in this world. However, uni and church commitments actually prevent me from learning more. Ironic isn't it? Because the time I spend in studying, going to uni, time spent preparing for church volunteering work, just really test my time management skills to the max. But thing is, even with time management, it's still so hard to fit all of them together, because after all, I have limited energy in me. Which is so crappppppp.. I wish I have more energy and more than 24 hours in a day! But oh well... So anyway, the point is, I often miss the bible study sessions (which is held on Friday 4-6pm and Sunday 3-5pm). Because by 4pm, I'd be too tired from uni and on Sunday I got no transport to go there since I don't drive... I should learn how to drive aye..

Scribbly thought summary
So all these pretty much stress me everyday.. But writing it here I guess kinda relieve the stress cos now that I got it typed down, I can see that it's actually only a total of 4 scribbly thoughts! (in my mind it feels like there are so many!) And I'm actually thinking of talking to the counselors at Curtin's health services (since it's free anyway :)  I know a  couple of my friends go there to get counselling cos of the stress from uni and life.. So might give it a try since they said it's pretty good... 

That's it! What's your scribbly thoughts? :)

2 comments:

CHINK said...

auuu, semangat monica! yg penting mid-test udah selesai and u've already studied really really hard, right? ;) cmon, work hard play hard! :p

MOnster a.k.a monica said...

teehee ty chink! always so encouraging u are! :)